Why?

What makes a person hide 1/2 lb of fudge so they don't have to share and then eat the entire thing in 2 days?
Why does someone think he can speak harshly to a child that is not his and expect no repercussions?
Why would a speech therapist want to teach a 2year old child signs instead of teaching him how to speak?
Why can't kids in school spell?
Why won't some people take vacations?
What makes a person feel he has the right to take advantage of other people for his own purposes?
Why do grandchildren make you smile just by thinking about them?
Why can't children live with you their entire lives? Or at least all live "down the road?"
Why can't your children have an easier life than you had?
Why do some people have everything and others have to struggle for everything they have?
Why can't we all own our own houses?

Just wondering....

Life as of Today (this could be the title forever!)

Things are better for now. I had a long talk with W last night which didn't start off very well. It's hard to get through that thick head sometimes. But I think I finally made him realize that he needs to take responsibility for his own actions and stop blaming other people, that he has serious anger, jealousy and control issues, and that he needs to go back to Charles to work on them. He doesn't want to do that, but there really is no other choice. We are also going to try to work on some of our time together; go back to date nights; weekends away, etc. But I also told him that I am not going to give up my family/friends/health time. So hopefully he'll understand that. Since he doesn't want to be at the low end of my priority scale, I am not sure how long things will work because he really doesn't "get" that I need to have my grandson and family time along with walks and health workouts, and friends. It doesn't mean he's down at the bottom of my priorities, but I may not always be available when he wants me to be. Yes, there could be trouble down the road. That's why I say, "for now, things are better." We'll see. That's all I can hope for.

I hate this

Life is still miserable at home. I had a very uplifting afternoon yesterday in Brighton as I spoke to a ladies group about Mormonism, how it has affected me, and how I came to the Cobourg Alliance Church and was baptized there. My husband, in the meantime, gave me no support and no help at all in getting there. In fact, he made it as difficult as he could. Then last night, I wanted to talk to Peter & Sharon about Mormonism and get some answers about some of the things ingrained in my brain after 24 years of it. First of all, Mare and I went to the gym as I told him I would be home in time to go to Peter & Sharon's. As we pulled in and sat directly behind him in the driveway when Mare was dropping me off, he backed up and left without me. We were 5 minutes late getting back from the gym! He would have had to see us as we were directly behind him and it is normal to look in the rearview mirror to check if anything is there before you back up, right? Mare drove me out to Peter & Sharon's after I changed. Then when I started to talk to them, I looked at him and he was chuckling. I flipped! I thought he was laughing at me because I know that some of my questions about the basics of Christianity might sound stupid to someone and right now, we are not getting along. I started crying and said this was going to work. He said, "why do you have to be like that. Just stop it." And I told him to leave. Peter & Sharon didn't say a word so he got up and slammed out. The only thing Peter said was "if that was my son, I would tell him to get back and close the door properly." We had a wonderful visit without him and Sharon said that she was okay with him not being there. Sharon drove me home. I also heard from Marianne that he told Marilyn (his ex) that Mare's house is not a good environment for his boys and that she shouldn't let them visit there. That is obviously his insecurity and jealousy but why does he have to be such as a&^hole!! Now he has slandered my daughter. Marilyn doesn't give him a second thought but I am still going to talk to her. And Wayne has once again alienated himself from Mare & Ron. DUH!!!! This morning he got ready for work and left without me (I already have a drive) and without saying a word. But tonight we are going to talk. A serious talk. I can't stand this!

My First Rant

I am really looking forward to going to Brighton tomorrow to discuss my history with the Mormon church. I told my husband about a month ago about this and how important it is to me, but why is it always me that has to make concessions? I know he needs the van for work, but none of my suggestions are good enough. We can't afford to rent a car for me right now because we can't afford spit right now. That's another whole blog! My suggestion was that he could go with Terry in the morning and I could take the van. I would then go to where he is working in Brighton and wait for him. He's been home every night by 5:00 or 5:30 so far, but guess what. TOMORROW is the day that he "might" work late, so that wouldn't work. Of course it wouldn't. It was my suggestion and might make things easier for me. When he asked me what was bugging me this morning, I told him but asked him to just listen; hopefully that he might see my side of something. Apparently he can't do that and blew up! As always! And he wonders why I don't tell him anything. DUH! I am tired of being screamed at and sworn at. I am so tired of it.
So I got on my bike and came to work. That means that I'm riding my bike home after work around 8:00 tonight too so let's hope the rain holds off until after that. Otherwise I'm getting wet and I really don't care. I'll have a warm bath when I get home. I just don't want to talk to him when I get home.
My friend Sharon VanEssen is taking tomorrow afternoon off work so she can take me to Brighton so I don't need his stupid van. It is HIS van anyway because I've been taking my bike to work since the weather has been good. I don't need him. He refuses to put my name on the ownership anyway - a blog for another time. He is going to die a lonely old man with his van and his boat. I hope he'll be happy.